The Proposal
You rename our lake. We rename your dollar.
America has put a president on a new one-dollar coin. Introducing the Jabroney.
We gave the world the Loonie. Then the Toonie. This one’s for you, America.
01 The Context
Apparently, we’re naming each other’s things now.
In August 2026, a U.S. executive order directed the American federal government to record Lake Ontario as “Lake America.” It changes what U.S. federal maps and documents print. It does not change the lake’s name in Canada, and Canada has said it will keep calling it Lake Ontario.
America has now put a president on a new one-dollar coin. It does not have a nickname yet. We would like to help. We propose the Jabroney.
What sparked this?
The lake. In August 2026 the U.S. president signed an executive order directing the Interior Department to record Lake Ontario as “Lake America” in the Geographic Names Information System, the U.S. government’s own naming register. It governs U.S. federal usage only; it does not rename the lake in Canada or internationally, and Canadian officials said Canada will continue to call it Lake Ontario. He signed it at the Resolute Desk, and filmed himself crossing the old name off a map with a Sharpie.
The coin. The U.S. Mint published designs for a 2026 Semiquincentennial President Donald J. Trump $1 coin, authorised by the Circulating Collectible Coin Redesign Act of 2020 for the United States’ 250th anniversary. The obverse carries the inscriptions LIBERTY, IN GOD WE TRUST and 1776~2026.
The coin on this page is not that coin. It is a parody: a photographed dollar coin whose outer inscription, portrait and motto have been replaced. It is not U.S. Mint artwork, it is not a product, and nothing here is for sale. “Jabroney” is this site’s naming proposal. Not an official name, and not a claim that any particular number of Canadians agree.
The sequence. These are not separate stories. They are a single argument, in the order it happened.
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21 August
Trade talks between the two countries collapse. CNBC
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27 August
An executive order directs the U.S. government to record Lake Ontario as “Lake America.” CBS News
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29 August
The President posts a video of Canada geese wearing his hair and carrying rifles, on the shore of the renamed lake. The Daily Beast
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31 August
The U.S. defense secretary posts a photograph of Canadian cadets, captioned “this is real.” The Globe and Mail
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1 September
The Prime Minister asks Washington to “stop doing memes, stop throwing shade and stop trying to be tough.” CNBC
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6 September
The Treasury Secretary tells Fox News that Canada reminds him of a “little yippy dog.” Yahoo News
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8 September
Canada’s counter-tariffs take effect at one minute past midnight, on $27.6 billion of American goods. Department of Finance
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8 September
A Pennsylvania state representative begins preparing a resolution asking Washington to rename Lake Erie “Lake Pennsylvania”. His case: “Ohio has plenty of shoreline. New York already has two Great Lakes. Canada has four others.” Newsweek
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21 September
The President says the United States is working on a deal to buy Belarusian potash at a price “substantially less than we are currently paying to Canada.” The Globe and Mail
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22 September
Belarus’s president says the country has none to spare: everything it produces is “contracted for this year.” UPI
Not every entry here has a coin. Not every coin answers an entry. The department is not finished.
02 The Exchange
The world’s least consequential currency exchange.
Canadian-assigned exchange rates.
Fictional rates for satire. Not real exchange rates or official franchise values.
Rates determined with the same consultation process used to rename Lake Ontario.
03 The Register
Since we’re naming things…
Canada has a few suggestions. We understand consultation is optional.
Received from the United States
Rename Lake Ontario
The department accepts one request. It has already decided.
04 The Great Escape
Watch a dollar become a penny in real time.
Central banks have been taking their gold out of New York. This one has drawn the same conclusion, and it has no vault and no aircraft, so it is going by road, from the desk in the Oval Office to Parliament Hill. Jump what the department has renamed. Every crash costs a denomination.
A new course every day, the same one for everybody. Nobody chose Ottawa; it is going anyway.
05 The Jabroney Drop
We reverse-engineered the White House decision-making process.
Drop it as often as you like. The department files the first one each day and disregards the rest.
06 The Series
Five denominations. One opinion.
America mints them. We name them. Nobody has asked us to stop.